Centered Life

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Excerpt from today’s audio post:

we have this desire to fulfill a need for significance

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Excerpt from today’s audio post:

“…always dissatisfied with where I am at. It seems like the explanations are not clear enough, not deep enough, not organized enough for me to hold on to or build my life on.” – Jeff Collene

How is your stress level? Overbearing? Maintaining? Or all under control? (Yea, right!)

Sometimes we feel like we’re at the end of our rope and it’s frayed. Life piles up. Efforts appear fruitless. The world is in opposition and our closest friends seem oblivious. It seems that many are drawing strength from us even though we’ve felt empty for some time!

Well. Does this describe your occasional bout with the pressures of life or your daily routine?

A recent personal example; I graded out a few acres of land and sowed hundreds of dollars worth of seed. Immediately following this effort we had one of the hardest rains in months. So much effort washed away. I now see new grass growing in the ditch, in the driveway and other unintended areas. Wow, what a colossal waste of time and money. Conventional wisdom says, forget it, just give up and let the weeds take over. My checkbook creeks at the waste. My family and friends probably wonder what evil lurks in the closet of my life. My mind reels with its own questions. Stress! And this example is really peanuts compared to my growing list of family and friends that suffer from life threatening illnesses and work and family pressures.

What is the right response? “Centered Life” keeps the big picture in focus. Keeping the main thing the main thing. I cannot allow disappointments and pressures to alter my values. If my values are diminished, so am I.

So, why do we abhor the very pressure that we need to improve? Why do we resist the needed repetitions to build our strength? Why do we constantly pursue the escape hatch of temporary relief with entertainment, sleep, deceptive and selfish relationships, or life altering drugs or alcohol?

We forget! We forget or we have never really known. We lose sight of our humanity and our destiny. We allow our values to be ignored or altered for a temporary pleasure, a fleeting feeling, a false comfort. When we forget who we are then we can forget what we believe. Ultimately, “I do what I believe.” Therefore, I must come to believe that which will allow me to manage the stresses of life so that the results are my ultimate benefit. I must define a value system that honors life and the source of life. Values that move me to do what is best, what is “right.”

An old prophet was given a simple maxim for life,

“I have told thee, oh man, what is good, and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.” Micah 6:8

jc

Life is a constant juggling of demands, defined priorities, pressing crisis, current desires and future hopes. We find ourselves chasing the “best” and settling for the “mediocre.” Our frustration leads us to believe that we cannot find balance and success with the current process of living.

I suggest that we need to settle into the path of trust and obedience to find true balance. The internal conflicts of reality and integrity tear at our peace. The external pressures of the “mob” and “conventional wisdom” direct us down paths of greater conflict.

Following the global recognition and Christian celebration of the “hinge” of history; the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we should reconsider our direction and purpose and reestablish our path in light of this reality!

The “Centered Life” of balance is found only on the fulcrum of truth, resting on the hinge of history, the One who was dead and now look, He is alive forever more! Begin the adventure, follow Him.

jc

Once we “begin” our life by being “born from above,” the life flow passes through two key filters for a centered life. The basic needs we attempt to fulfill must be filtered and focused or they can be fulfilled in a damaging way. Everyone desires security, adventure, significance and community and will fill their lives with attempts of satisfying these needs. Of course, all these basic needs can be fulfilled in very destructive ways. It can be as simple and non-threatening as a hang out like a local bar where,”Everyone knows your name” and your life is wasted away in self-indulgence or as violent as a street gang. In any case, the attempt to satisfy these basic needs without the key filters is very misleading and dangerous or at best leads to a very mediocre life.

Therefore, the two key filters must be applied for the centered life fulfillment of these needs. These filters can be defined in two words; giving and growing. I will elaborate later, but first the reality of effecting others through our life pursuits is defined by giving into something bigger than ourselves. Secondly, the effect my choices have on me must be ultimately positive to justify their expense and true fulfillment causing my improvement along the way. So the attempts in life to satisfy the basic needs must be filtered through these lenses to focus our satisfaction with centered life results.

jc

After many weeks of pursuing other high priority responsibilities and establishing a new routine, which includes a local community college 8:00am Spanish class, I feel it is time to get back into the ruminations of Centered Life thinking. My schedule will not return to normal for months!

As I continue to hone my understanding of the elements that define and direct a life towards balance and clarity, I am struck by the simplicity of the order and content of a life of integrity and at the same time the complexity of our human condition. Due to the simple fact that our internal conflicts are out of our sight, we do not have the natural capacity to begin the process of ordering our lives properly. The fact that most people are not reconciled with the source of life keeps the initiation of a centered life at bay. Of course, this would introduce the biggest hurdle of forward progress, the acknowledgment of God and His will. This can only be accomplished by faith, i.e., what you believe, and God is a rewarder of those who look for Him. We do not grow into a spiritual relationship with God step by step, we either have a relationship with Him or we do not.

A wise old rabbi named Nicodemus was puzzled by this process and how to initiate it. He asked the young messianic prophet, Jesus of Nazareth, a threatening figure in Israel to the established order, what must he do to begin. The portion of Scripture referenced is in the Gospel of John chapter 3 (NKJV).

1There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. 2This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” 3Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 4Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” 5Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7Do not marvel that I said to you, “You must be born again.” 8The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” 9Nicodemus answered and said to Him, “How can these things be?”

10Jesus answered and said to him, “Are you the teacher of Israel, and do not know these things? 11Most assuredly, I say to you, We speak what We know and testify what We have seen, and you do not receive Our witness. 12If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13No one has ascended to heaven but He who came down from heaven, that is, the Son of Man who is in heaven. 14And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. 16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

18“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”

So, the basis for a Centered Life is not found in yourself unless you are restored in your relationship with God. He then sets the foundation of life by which all other values are established. This is NOT done gradually but instantaneously at the point of faith. Then the process of centering begins. More about that tomorrow.

jc

One of our basic needs is security. We will always attempt to attain a sense of certainty regardless of our situation. We usually try to establish routines and a familiar environment to this end. Unfortunately, our belief system contains many conflicting layers and these beliefs move us to act in way contrary to our own attainment of that certainty.

Our behavior is a reflection of what we believe, that is, “We do what we believe.” I have come to the conclusion that until we determine “what we believe,” we will be conflicted about our values and remain off-center. So, what do I believe?

We must begin with a core, our starting point. This core is defined as our absolutes, the total and unequivocal belief, with no doubt of misrepresentation. I don’t believe the core is so certain for most. An illustration that I enjoyed comes from the premise that M. Night Shyamalan established in his movie “Signs.” I don’t agree with the expressed theology or the possible sadistic view of God but, that aside, the pivotal scene is captivating.

The film is promoted as a science fiction yarn about aliens and crop circles. When Graham Hess, a farmer in rural Pennsylvania played by Mel Gibson has the signs appear in his cornfields, his life takes another drastic turn. The movie is really about the initial drastic event of the tragic loss of his wife in a traffic accident and it is exposed in the second. This is a drama of how an unexplained loss in the life of a Christian minister lead to his loss of faith. Even though he chose to walk away from his faith he continually found himself being called upon by others for comfort and understanding. In what I believe is the pivotal scene of explanation, Graham is trying to respond to his brother’s (Joaquin Phoenix) need for comfort. Graham enters into an explanation he had previously come to understand about the individuals belief system. The script is as follows:

(whispers) … There are all different ways you can tell that there’s someone really there watching out for us. You see signs. Sometimes they’re little ones. You think of someone. The phone rings. They’re on the phone… Sometimes they’re big, like fourteen lights hovering over Mexico City.
(beat) Sure, there are a lot of people watching this who think this could be a bad thing. But there are a lot of people watching this, who think it’s a miracle. A sign of God’s existence. It’s all in how you look at things Merrill.
(beat) What you have to decide is what kind of person you are? Are you the type who believes in miracles and looks for signs or are you the kind who believes, things just happen by chance?

What kind of person are you? Are your absolutes built from the reality that there is someone out there or that you are all alone and everything is an accident? The ripples from your core of absolutes either gain a security in life or produce diminishing ripples of confidence.

Next time I will begin to peel the onion of our belief system from our absolutes out to our feelings and cultural norms. Something to think about as we build a Centered Life.

jc

What are the absolutes of life? Some say there are none. Absolutely, no absolutes!

I am building my life on the assumption that there are absolutes. Yes, it is a presupposition on my part, but we all presuppose a basis of belief. We like to think we are open minded and malleable, that we are intelligent and self-determined. But we do have a basis of belief and it is built on something.

I have also come to the conclusion that our behavior is a mirror reflection of our beliefs. But our beliefs can be quite a collection of conflicting values, facts and deductions. I still hold to the maxim that we “do what we believe.”

As I continue to muse on the stark phrase, “We do what we believe,” I am immediately drawn to the question then, “What do I really believe?” I incessantly grasp for a greater understanding of my own belief system in such a way as to move toward a centered life.

In “A Testament of Devotion”, by Thomas Kelly, he writes;

“We feel honestly the pull of many obligations and try to fulfill them all. And we are unhappy, uneasy, strained, oppressed, and fearful we shall be shallow. We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power. If only we could slip over into that Center!.

We have seen and known some people who have found this deep center of living, where the fretful calls of life are integrated, where No as well as Yes can be said with confidence.”I have come to the conclusion that until we determine what we believe, we will be conflicted about our values and therefore not really understand what moves us or how to “slip over into that center.”

Have you ever asked yourself the question: “Why did I do that?” Questioning your own assumptions and motivations? I suggest the conclusion that what motivates us and leverages our choices comes from our absolutes and the weaker ripples of our belief system. Our actions then or our behavior reflects our belief system. Therefore, the building of a proper belief system is key to a centered life.

I contend that there is a truth, a belief system that is based on absolutes. Such a belief system allows us to settle into that centered life. We must begin with a core, our absolutes.

I intend on pulling the layers of our belief system apart to reveal what we really believe. My purpose is to expose any errant or misguided basis of belief and pursue that which leads to a centered life.

Until then,
jc

This is one of my favorite lines is from the Rob Reiner movie, “Princess Bride”. This movie is one that I was embarrassed to be caught watching when it first came out in the late 80’s because it was sooo stupid. But, I guess I will reveal my sense of humor and intellectual depth by admitting that my wife and I have watched the movie many times now and we laugh harder every time we watch it.

Cary Elwes plays Westley (temporarily the Dread Pirate Roberts) that is following his kidnapped bride-to-be. Mandy Patinkin plays the legendary swordsman Inigo Mantoya. As Inigo has patiently waited for Westley to climb the rope up the Cliffs of Despair only to face the sword, he gives him a few moments to catch his breath. They both begin the duel left-handed, though both are right-handed. They both want to give the other guy a better chance, both being “good guys.” During the duel they carry on a very droll but civil conversation. Inigo asks Westley why he was wearing a mask and requests that he remove it. Westley’s pithy response, “Get used to disappointments.” Inigo accepts his response and the duel continues.

Life is full of disappointments, so I like to quote Wesley on a regular basis. It is the daily grind of dealing with them that causes us to make choices that will either strengthen us or more deeply entrench our apathy and cynicism. I am not cynical. I consider the proverb to communicate that things will not always go our way, so, we should get used to disappointments. This is the reality that “what does not break us will strengthen us” and our response to life’s tests, trials, temptations and disappointments can be tools for our good. We should pursue the way that will result in our victoriously pressing through any difficulty that comes our way.

In the future I will address what I think are the motivations for our choices and some of the results of those choices.

jc

This statement has become a daily slap in the face, like cold water splashing the sleep away. As I continually evaluate my life, current situations, needed decisions and desires. As I am becoming more aware of the consequences of my decisions, this statement forces me to clearly pursue an understanding of my motives. Motives can simply be defined as “Why do I do the things that I do and who do I do them for?”.

As a self-aware being with a sense of responsibility and accountability I am daily pressed into the path of self-judgment and reevaluation. I think this is a result of my desire to live my life well, to truly be a learner, to continually grow and ultimately live a life that produces “fruit that remains.”

In the days ahead I want to pursue the gathering thoughts and questions concerning change, absolutes, change agents, values, and life in very specific expressions. The formation of the whole person is a challenge and a process and I intend to become an expert, even if it takes me a thousand years.

jc